"A Trip Takes Us": Reading, Eating, and Drinking My Way Through the Pacific Coast

For Spring Break this year, my boyfriend Josh and I embarked on what can only be called a "road trip on crack." In search of the perfect law school and a good time, we traveled from New Mexico to Arizona to California to Oregon and back. Racing up the Pacific Coast at a brisk 80 miles/hour, we tried our best to indulge in everything the West Coast has to offer and we even found time to sleep once or twice.

As Steinbeck wisely stated, "we do not take a trip; a trip takes us." Agreeing wholeheartedly, I feel that road trips should teach you something about yourself and your fellow travelers. If it had not been for this trip, I would never have known that Josh can change his pants while weaving through traffic on Sunset Blvd. or that he knows every System of a Down song by heart. In the spirit of learning stuff about stuff, I decided to read two road-related novels (William Burroughs' Naked Lunch and John Steinbeck's Travels with Charley) and tried to eat as much food as possible. Ten pounds and one hell of a hangover later, this is what I learned...

I learned that I have a love-hate relationship with William Burroughs, a relationship I'm assuming he had with many of the people in his life (i.e. fans, lovers, friends, opium den mates, etc.). While I love the fact that Burroughs sucks me in and spits me back out into a terrifying Beat mosaic, his use of women as battering rams just highlights the fact that, much like his inability to write a typo-free sentence, he was a repressed, opiate-addicted yuppie. Harsh? Yes. True? Very much so. My personal feelings aside, it must be said that Naked Lunch is an awkward masterpiece, perfect in it's true affront to convention.

I also learned that John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath and Cannery Row may be better than Travels with Charley, but this non-fiction, travel memoir is still a great read. Steinbeck is, as always, straightforward in his use of language and honest in all the ways we need him to be. Before anything else, Steinbeck is a storyteller and he tells a damn good story. Where Burroughs wants to obliterate perceptions, Steinbeck wants to enlighten.

In simpler terms, Naked Lunch is like your crazy uncle that drinks too much, hits on your friends, and throws up on your couch, whereas Travels with Charley is like your reliable grandfather who leans back on his porch chair, smelling always of salt and chewing tobacco (this would imply that Ginsberg and Kerouac are the dope-adled, sexually-ambiguous friends of your uncle, which would be awesome).

Needless to say, the Beat movement is over and San Francisco is much calmer these days. Not to say that you can't find hash-smoking, shirtless hippies, it just seems less subversive when the hash-smoker is a semi-obese, middle-aged bum. If it's orgies and social revolutions you are looking for, then find a time machine, but if you are looking for some kick ass crab cakes, then the Pacific Coast was made for you.

The food on the Pacific Coast is the best in the world, not because it's stuffy and complicated, but because it has carried that "screw the rules" hippie mindset over to it's cuisine. As cliche as it sounds, L.A., San Francisco, Napa/Sonoma Valley, and Portland are food cities because they prize innovation over anything else (whether it's street food or upscale dining).

A few of my Pacific Coast recommendations (please add your suggestions to this list):

1. Best Dessert - Mango Gelato at Mio Gelato in Portland, OR (Pearl District)
2. Best Breakfast - Swedish Pancakes at Fred's Coffee Shop in Sausalito, CA
3. Best Bread/Pastry - Walnut Panini at Pearl Bakery in Portland, OR (Pearl District, no surprise)
4. Best Seafood - Dungeness Crab Cakes at Scoma's Restaurant in San Fransisco, CA (The Wharf)
5. Best Pasta - Saffron Pappardelle with Jumbo Prawns and Wild Mushrooms at Allegria in Napa, CA
6. Best Cocktail - Dark and Stormy (Dark Rum and Ginger Beer) at Doug Fir in Portland, OR
7. Best Wine - Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfandel at Cuvee in Napa, CA
8. Best Beer - Leafer Madness Imperial Pale Ale at Henry's Tavern in Portland, OR (Pearl District)
9. Best Bar Food - Fresh Cut Garlic Fries at Weiland Brewery in Los Angeles, CA (Little Tokyo)
10. Biggest Craziest Meal - Burrito Dorado at El Cholo's in Los Angeles, CA
11. Best Burger - Cheeseburger at In-N-Out Burger in Los Angles, CA
12. Best Road Trip Food - Cake Doughnuts from Delicious Donuts in Portland, OR and Caramels from the Cheese Factory in Sonoma, CA (Josh would recommend Beef Jerky and Sunflower Seeds, any kind)
13. Best Road Trip Books - On the Road by Kerouac and Lolita by Nabokov (old favorites always win)

Warning: Chinatown's version of a small order of Sake is not small, it's huge, like a pitcher of warm, sweet rubbing alcohol.

I also recommend the Jupiter Hotel in Portland, OR (as shown above). The hotel is connected to a popular bar called the Doug Fir (bands like the Decemberists were born and raised there). I love this hotel because a) the bar connected to it houses a large glass moose head, b) the staff gives you REAL recommendations, rather than regurgitating a tourist guide, c) the decor is college dorm meets city loft, and d) you have to stumble a mere 50 feet from one of the liveliest bars in the city.

Only in Portland will you find generous slices of Vegan Pizza and Pabst Blue Ribbon in the same sentence. For whiskey-lovers, Portland's Cellar Bar in the Annex gave us the best whiskey tasting we've ever had (I recommend Jefferson's Reserve Very Old).

If New York City is the head of America, then Napa Valley is the heart. Although it seems a bit overrun with tourists, the vineyards are lush and the locals move at their own pace. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Sidenote: Skip the ghost town that is Downtown Napa and head over to it's bustling step-cousin Downtown Sonoma.

Falling for Alice Munro

I should begin by saying that I didn’t like Alice Munro right away. I had just gotten off of a particularly obsessive Faulkner binge and couldn’t wrap my brain around her tight, sometimes minimalistic sentences. I just didn’t get it. I wanted Faulkner’s long, sweeping sentences and a mason jar of whiskey, straight-up. Nevertheless, my sexually confused, Faulkner-induced stupor finally faded and I realized that I couldn’t stop reading Alice Munro, I wanted her too, but in a very different way.

In her latest book Too Much Happiness, Munro penetrates the shifting fabric of marriage, the complexion of death, and teaches us how to appreciate grotesque, even gothic tones. You have to appreciate an author who can portray a controlling, child-killing husband without the narrative becoming too much like a “but I love him anyway” Oprah episode.

Munro’s strength is not that she twists cliché plotlines, but that she forces us to see that tragedy happens, not because we are special, but because we are human, because we all have something inside of us that is selfish and cruel.

On a somewhat lighter note, I decided to “eat” my way through the story “Deep Holes” (which sounds much more sordid than I had originally planned). In a story that maps the intricacies and schisms of the American family, the foods that Munro chose to highlight are just as problematic and irrational as her characters. In the first scene, the main female character packs lemon tarts, Mumm’s champagne, and deviled eggs for their family picnic.

These are the following reasons why I would NEVER take a tart, deviled eggs, or Mumm’s on a family picnic: a) that tart was a lot of work, b) neither food packs well, and c) I can’t imagine feeding my kids deviled eggs and tarts for lunch, while drinking a pretty expensive bottle of champagne. Considering the fact that this picnic occurs in the middle of a geological anomaly (a park dotted with large, cavernous holes), the entire situation gives the reader (and the cook) a sense of unease.

Although Munro barely goes into detail regarding her food choices, they reveal a woman who is dislocated from her marriage, her children, and the reality of the moment (i.e. her marriage sucks and her children are perched on a literal and metaphorical cliff). The danger is that she sees her life as a parade of small details: packing the eggs, breast feeding in public, drinking enough champagne so that it pleases her husband, but doesn’t hurt the baby…the list is endless. Munro seems to beg the question: What do we lose when we don’t look at the big picture? What is left out when we stop treating our life like it matters? I don’t know, but the lemon tart tasted great.

I’m not particularly sure why, but in the making of my Munro récipes, I ended up using about 2 dozen eggs. Apparently, Munro has eggs on the brain (I will refrain from any comments on fertility here).  Nonetheless, both of these classics were a hit at the Academy Award party we went to last weekend (I love you Jeff Bridges).

I adapted recipes by Paula Deen and Martha Stewart, two formidable foodie goddesses. I tweaked them a bit, but you will find that both recipes are stable, sometimes easy, and always rewarding (no surprise that Deen uses mayo and Stewart uses fancy French terminology).

Southern Deviled Eggs

Adapted from a récipe in Paula Deen’s Home Cooking

Time: 20-25 minutes

Servings: 14 eggs

Ingredients:nocoupons

7 large eggs, hard boiled and peeled

1/4 cup mayonnaise (I always add an extra teaspoon, if I find the yolks to be a bit dry)

1 1/2 tablespoons finely chopped dill pickles (or sweet pickle relish, whichever you prefer)

¼ teaspoon white vinegar

1 teaspoon prepared mustard

Salt and pepper, to taste

Crushed red pepper flakes, for garnishing

Directions:nocoupons

1. Cut the hard boiled eggs into halves, lengthwise. Carefully remove yolks and place in a small-ish bowl.

2. Mash yolks with a fork and stir in mayonnaise, chopped pickles, vinegar, and mustard. Add salt and pepper, to taste. Trust me, you will have to add/taste/add/taste because every batch of deviled eggs is different (it’s just another unexplained scientific fact, like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot).

3. Fill egg whites with yolk mixture. If you are trying to impress your mother-in-law or your cellmates, I mean, coworkers, then use a piping tube to fill the egg whites. Garnish with crushed red pepper flakes. Store covered in refrigerator. 

Variations:nocoupons

Add ¼ cup of chopped bacon to the yolk mixture and substitute crushed red pepper flake garnish for a few bits of chopped bacon (please, no bacon bits from the jar, frying up some REAL bacon never hurt anybody, except maybe Bill Clinton).

Blueberry-Lemon Tart

Adapted from a recipe in Martha Stewart Living

Time: Don’t plan anything else that day…just kidding, about 1 ½- 2 hours.

Servings: One 12-inch tart

Ingredients:nocoupons

1 twelve-inch Pate Sucree, tart shell, baked and cooled (see recipe below)

8 large egg yolks

2 tablespoons finely grated lemon zest (yes, this is VERY tedious, but it is worth it)

1 cup fresh lemon juice, plus 1 teaspoon for blueberry mixture

2 cans (each 14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk

1/8 teaspoon salt

1 ½ cups of fresh blueberries

1 tablespoon of sugar

Directions:nocoupons

1. Whisk egg yolks, lemon zest, lemon juice, condensed milk, and salt until smooth (beat for about 30 seconds on medium speed, if using a mixer).

2. Pour into 12-inch tart shell (crust MUST be baked and cooled). Bake until edges of filling are firm and slightly puffed, about 30-35 minutes. Let cool. Refrigerate for 1 hour, then remove sides of tart pans (leaving the base), and refrigerate, uncovered, until the bottom of the pan is cool to the touch.

3. Place blueberries, sugar, and 1 teaspoon of lemon juice in a small saucepan and cook over low heat, constantly stirring. Cook just until a thick syrup has formed, about 5-10 minutes. Remove from heat and allow mixture to cool completely. Carefully pour mixture on the middle of tart. Refrigerate covered tart or serve (whichever comes first).

Pate Sucree

Adapted from a recipe in Martha Stewart Living (thanks go to Martha for the best crust recipe ever)

Time: 30-45 minutes

Servings: Makes one 12-inch tart shell

Ingredients:nocoupons

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

Pinch of salt (Martha says it’s optional, but I think it’s necessary)

3 tablespoons sugar

1/2 pound (2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

4 tablespoons ice water2 large cold egg yolks, beaten

Directions:nocoupons

1. Now I don’t mean to be a stickler, but precision is key to any good crust. It’s all about keeping that butter cold, so make sure you work fast and use VERY cold ingredients.

2. Combine flour, salt, and sugar in a medium bowl. Cut in butter with a pastry blender until mixture resembles coarse meal.

3. Beat together water and egg yolks, and slowly pour into flour-butter mixture while stirring with a fork (ditch the pastry blender). As soon as pastry starts to come together, stop adding liquid. Shape dough into a round disc, wrap in plastic, and chill for at least 1 hour or overnight.

4. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Remove dough from refrigerator. On a lightly floured surface, roll out to 1/8 inch thick. Press pastry into bottom and sides of tart pan. Run a rolling pin across top to trim. (Scraps can be wrapped in plastic and frozen for later use.)

5. Carefully line pastry with aluminum foil, and weight with beans, rice, or pastry weights ( I used rice). Bake for 10 to 15 minutes. When pastry begins to color around the edges, remove weights and foil and continue to bake until pastry turns light golden brown, 8 to 10 more minutes (bake a bit longer if you are making a tart filling that does not require any added baking time). Place pan on a wire rack and let cool completely before filling.